


Sing It About Me: The Avengers Musical

by starsdontsleep



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A musical is made about them, Gen, Humor, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, it was kind of serious, it's probably Tony Stark's fault, just them talking about/making fun of it, less crack then I intended, musical!Loki might need a hug, not the actual music side of it is written about, they go and see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:31:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2019972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsdontsleep/pseuds/starsdontsleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the incidents in New York, someone decides to make a musical of The Avengers, it's a weird thing (with the author of the musical making up a story where Loki isn't really evil, but everyone believes he is) and on opening night, the Avengers are invited and have very different reactions to it and to what they did to their personalities and characters.</p><p>Full prompt found <a href="http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19458.html?thread=46136578#t46136578">here</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Sing It About Me: The Avengers Musical

**Author's Note:**

> So. I read this prompt and then couldn't let the humor of it go. Therefore, fill!! Hope you enjoy, less 'crackish' then I original intended, but, what can you do?

**Avengers, The Musical**

Steve thought it was a joke when he first heard about it, but in his defence, it was Tony who placed the flyer in front of him, Tony whose eyes were twinkling madly and practically jumping on the balls of his feet.

The flyer had been full of bold, bright colours with the musical’s cast in various stages of emotion splayed across the centre of it. Their Hawkeye was one of the most prominent, he seemed to be kneeling and weeping on the stage while the members who played Thor and Loki were up near the top. They seemed to be shouting - or was it singing? - vigorously at each other.

He had stared at the flyer for a long minute before switching back to Tony who hadn’t stopped grinning. “I don’t think I get it.”

“What isn’t there to get? We’ve been made into a God damn musical; I knew I fell from the sky for a reason. This, _this_ is that reason. Musical.”

Steve shook his head. “I still don’t understand. Why did they make a musical about us?” _Why did they make a musical about the Earth almost being invaded and destroyed?_

“Because the other avenues to milk the glory of our awesomeness was taken so they did it here?” 

Steve went to protest but Tony waved it away, it was then Steve noticed the other item still in the inventor’s hand and paled. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes!” Tony’s grin was bright and maniac. “Tickets! Tickets for the whole team! It will be like shwarma, only more important, because it will be a show, about _us_.”

“Tony,” Steve tried, but it was useless, he was aware it was useless. Tony was already talking, steamrolling any protests he might have been considering, his arms moving and gesturing rapidly. 

Steve let himself sigh and sink into the chair. He supposed he would need a suit, and it would be nice to see the team again even if the reason might prove a little disconcerting. He wondered, what did people wear to musicals nowadays? He was sure Natasha would be willing to help him.

\--

Natasha did prove helpful, but it seemed black tie was fashionable no matter the century. Steve still found himself fiddling uncomfortably in the theatre lobby, smiling awkwardly and looking away from the few women who kept trying to catch his eyes. He was beyond thankful when Natasha and Clint showed up together. Natasha looked elegant and beautiful as always. Clint also looked rather dashing in his suit, even if he was scowling and hunching his shoulders as they made their way over.

“Natasha, Clint!”

“Captain,” Natasha responded, a hint of warmth to her tone, Clint grunted until Natasha elbowed him.

“Fuck, ow!” He gave Natasha a faint glare, but smoothed it out the moment she glanced at him. Clint nodded at Steve instead. “Stark dragged you in as well?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Do you know who else is here?”

“FRIENDS!” A loud voice boomed. Natasha and Clint both turned their heads in eerie symmetry as Thor made his way jovially through the crowd that parted before him. He didn’t seem to notice as he reached out and clapped Clint and Steve on the shoulder. “I am joyed to see you on such a wondrous occasion as this! It is a fine honour to have such a ballad of our battle performed for the people of Midgard!”

“Ballard of our battle, huh?” Clint intoned. “Didn’t know I _cried_ in our battle.”

Thor shook his head. “Fear not! The Man of Iron has told me it is to be praised to show emotion as such! I am honoured to call you my shield brother!”

Steve did his best to suppress a smile while Natasha looked like she was laughing on the inside. Clint scowled. “I’m going to kill Stark.”

The expression on Thor’s face quickly changed to confusion. Natasha patted his arm comfortingly. “Don’t mind Clint. It’s a sign of affection between them to threaten bodily harm.”

Before he could respond, Tony was showing up beside them, an awkward Bruce dragging his feet behind the inventor. “Excellent!” Tony rubbed his hands together. “Come on, why are we standing around here? Private booth and plenty of booze,” he gestured expansively at them and towards some stairs. “I refuse to miss the previews; it takes all the fun away from the experience.”

“There are no previews at a musical, Tony,” Bruce responded dryly.

Tony shushed him. “Don’t spoil it for the old man and the alien!”

Bruce rolled his eyes but offered Steve and Thor an apologetic smile. Steve got the distinct impression it was more for the inventor than his own sake. Regardless, Steve smiled back and as they all moved towards the stairs - Stark pestering Natasha and Clint and being threatened in turn - he moved to keep time with Bruce. “How are you, Dr Banner?”

He got a wry smirk for his question. “I’ve been avoiding anything green, if that’s what you’ve been wondering.”

“I was actually wondering about what you thought of all this,” he gestured at the theatre, choosing to ignore that comment for now. “I heard this Captain America is a tenor.” He couldn’t stop the grimace that crossed his face; he’d been doing it since he found out. “I don’t know why they picked that. I can’t hit a note with a baseball bat.”

Bruce relaxed enough to smile a little more genuinely if still mockingly. “I don’t know how they expect to show me and The Other Guy.”

“I read about something called ‘throwing your voice’. Maybe he’ll be using a method similar to it?”

“Well, I suppose we’ll find out,” Bruce replied before falling silent as they reached the stairs and began the climb. Tony was soon bounding up and past them, obviously planning to direct them personally.

It was moments like those when Steve had to suppress the little reminders of Howard Stark that appeared in the similar showmanship expressed by his son. It only made both of them miserable, Steve for the past he’d lost and Tony for the past he wanted to forget.

“I hear I get an entire musical number,” Tony grinned widely when they reached him. “I hope they don’t mangle the Iron Man suit’s designs too badly. I can’t sing in a terrible suit, it will take away all the enjoyment of the moment.”

“It’s not actually you up there,” Clint called from further down the stairs.

“Quiet you!” Tony shouted, “You have no understanding of the art of immersion!”

Bruce shook his head as the bickering began again and Steve took the Doctor’s lead and made his way to the curtained off area that had a security guard positioned in front of it. The guard nodded and let them in without pause. Steve would have been more worried about the safety of the venue if Tony hadn’t made less of a show of his presence. He doubted anyone checked the inventor’s ID anymore, it was probably rather pointless.

Choosing his seat, he took one in the corner, picking up the program that was waiting for him as he did. He was grateful when Bruce placed himself beside him. Bruce would be willing to explain any references he didn’t get and even though it meant Tony would be likely to sit on Bruce’s other side, he would be able to sit through the production in peace. 

Opening the booklet in his hands, however, had Steve grimacing slightly. When there was a solo song titled ‘ _Invading to Save My Soul_ ’ he wasn’t sure ‘peace’ was ever going to be the right description for this musical.

\--

Steve was right. Peace? Terrible description. Horror, shock and incredulity? Far more accurate.

“Oh, oh, holy _shit_ ,” Tony wheezed at intermission, half leaning over Bruce to laugh somewhere in the vicinity of his chest.

Bruce looked somewhere between amused and vaguely appalled, it was an interesting combination. “Did they really describe Loki as a ‘beautiful lost soul just trying to escape his fate’?”

“Fuck, they had Captain America sing a song called ‘ _Man out of Time_ ’. It was to 30’s jazz. 30’s _jazz_.” Tony was still trying to catch his breath. “I need a ringtone. Somebody download me a ringtone.”

Steve frowned. “I don’t see what was so funny about it-”

“Oh my God, because even the real Captain America doesn’t get how many references were in that song.”

“I get that it was about-”

“No, no, no!” Tony insisted, “Don’t ruin it for me; I need your lack of understanding it in my life. It makes the song so much more beautiful.”

Steve crossed his arms in irritation but Tony was already turning in his seat to face the others. “Clint, I take back everything I said about your manly tears of masculinity. I truly don’t appreciate your pain and horror and ‘ _bleeding from these wounds on my_ -ow!” Tony rubbed his arm where Clint punched him. “Mother fucker.”

“I am pleased by the way you are painted half green, Bruce Banner!” Thor announced loudly. “It is enjoyable to see you expressed as both your fine warriors!”

Bruce grimaced. “Thanks, Thor.”

He smiled widely. “You are welcome, Bruce Banner!”

“I think _you_ looked especially fetching, Natasha,” Tony said with a smirk, resting his chin on his hand as he looked at her. “Do you actually own a costume so revealing yourself?”

Natasha smiled without teeth and while it may have looked polite it was with every intention of inflicting grevious harm. “Are you really asking, Tony?”

Tony, not entirely devoid of common sense, shut up and turned to Steve instead. “And what about you, Captain, my Captain? What are _you_ enjoying about the Musical?”

He looked over the others before replying, “Isn't anyone else finding it a little disrespectful of everything we did?” In response, Tony rolled his eyes, Natasha and Bruce shrugged, Thor seemed confused and Clint simply put his head on the back of Steve’s seat and groaned loudly. Steve felt his own face turn perplexed as he gestured at the people moving around in their seats below them. “I just... they’re getting an idea about what happened, but it’s - it was nothing like that.”

“Riiiiight,” Tony drew out the word. “Because if they knew Loki was a bag of fucking cats and did this just for shits and giggles and that we nearly _lost_ do you really think that would help people sleep at night? It sure as hell doesn’t help _me_ sleep at night but this,” he waved the program at Steve, “just might.”

“How?”

Tony snorted and sprawled back in his seat, but he wasn’t the one who answered, Natasha did. 

“Because this will make people happy," she said simply but quietly, her face unreadable. "Those who weren’t able to come to terms with what happened can find some peace from seeing it as something less than real, less than horrific. They see loved ones remembered and immortalised in this retelling. They can watch heroes save them again. They can believe an enemy is defeated and will not return.” She smiled vaguely. “And they can believe we are good, that we are human and they are not alone, that they did not suffer pain alone.”

Clint had raised his head by the time she had finished, but Steve and Thor were the only ones still looking at Natasha. Tony was staring at the pamphlet in his hand with a scowl; Bruce was looking at the crowd, unseeing while Clint was scanning the walls. Thor was smiling softly and Steve slowly felt himself matching that expression. It wasn’t pride that he felt then, but rather something softer and happier. He thought back over Tony’s question and changed his answer, “Did anyone notice that I got to hand Thor Mjolnir?”

Barely a second later Tony was pointed at him accusingly, “You did _not_.”

Steve grinned. “Yeah, I did.”

“Liar!”

Bruce was smiling. “Sorry, Tony. He gave it to Thor at the ‘secret base’ after Natasha and Steve sung about assassins vs. soldiers.”

Tony blinked a few times before gaping. “But, but Tony Stark was _right there_. How dare he not take Mjolnir! The tests he could have run! I’m appalled as a scientist.”

“I am indeed sorry, Man of Iron,” Thor said around a chuckle but his eyes were still twinkling, “I do not think you are worthy of the might of Thor.”

The look on Tony’s face and the continuing conversation afterwards keep them all laughing long through the rest of the intermission.

\--

The second half was more enjoyable than the first now that they were more openly mocking it. Steve hadn’t laughed so much since waking in this new time, especially when Tony got his solo number. It was fitting considering everyone knew how much of an over-the-top person Tony Stark could be. The number included a chorus, a ridiculous amount of dancers, two wardrobe changes and with Tony ending up on a tower by the end of it. Tony _adored_ it, he literally stood up and cheered, almost toppling over the balcony he was so ecstatic, Natasha had needed to pull him back in. 

The only time their booth fell closer to something uncomfortable was during the fight and song number between Thor and Loki. Thor had been stone faced throughout it, but when it finally finished he stood and clapped solemnly, his eyes never leaving the man who played Loki who even with their distance from the stage, the tears on his face were still visible.

It had taken a combination of Clint and Tony’s sniped remarks about the other’s cast member to get the mood back to something more light-hearted. Steve was particularly impressed by some of the coordination of the fight scenes as well as the artistry in the backdrops. The set had been split to accommodate the final battle being half on Tony’s tower and half on the streets of New York. It was both surreal and bemusing to watch a rendition of your battle with singing Chitauri, civilians and people playing yourself and your teammates.

Tony’s comment of, “ _Singing Chitauri. I was wrong, I’ll never sleep again,_ ” had made Clint laugh so hard he’d fallen on the floor.

When the production finally ended, Steve doubted there was a louder spot in the theatre than their booth. Clint whistled with his fingers, Tony shouted comments that had no hope of being heard, Natasha talked Thor out of flying down with Mjolnir to congratulate the cast in person while Bruce and Steve clapped until their hands hurt.

It had been a fantastic night and when they finally quieted down; Steve turned to Tony and grinned. “This was a brilliant idea, Tony, thank you.”

The enthusiastic response of everyone else made Tony go from first surprised to pleasantly pleased, “Hah! I’ve told you all, I’m a genius. Why does no one believe me? Bruce, why do they always doubt me?”

Bruce kept his face blank but his eyes were laughing. “There was the time you almost blew up-”

“Ah!” Tony shouted, his hands waving frantically. “What did we say about that? Not just Bro Code, _Science_ Bro Code! What were you thinking saying things like that?”

“You’re right,” Bruce was smiling outright now. “What was I thinking?”

Clint cut in before it could go any further. “You know, Rogers is right, Stark, this was not actually a complete fucking disaster.” He stood up, stretching slightly before asking, “So, shwarma again?”

“I’m starving,” Steve agreed emphatically, standing up as well. Bruce and Natasha both nodded and did the same.

“I am indeed happy to eat many helpings of the Midgardian shwarma!” Thor enthused.

Tony was already shifting on his feet, eager and with his phone out in hand, a message probably being sent to JARVIS to clear out wherever he was taking them to eat. Steve tried to be exasperated but only ended up with a well of affection for all of his teammates instead.

They slowly started to make their way out of the booth when Tony suddenly lifted his head from what he was doing and commented, “Oh, hey, they’re showing it again tomorrow night. I kind of maybe just bought tickets and talked to the girl who wrote it about meeting the cast.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled almost hopefully. “They all seemed pretty excited about it.”

There was a long pause before Clint told him, “Fucking admit it; you just want to convince your guy to pick up Mjolnir.”

“How dare you sully the sanctity that is my desire to converse with the only other person to so brilliantly play me, as me!”

“How the fuck do you fit into Iron Man with all that ego?” Clint demanded at the same time Thor turned to Bruce to ask, “Is it not tradition to gift flowers to the performers of your great Midgardian ballads?”

“Uh,” Bruce blinked. “Yes.”

Thor nodded solemnly. “I must find such flowers to present the next evening to him.”

“Who are you going to give them to?” Steve couldn’t help asking.

“They will be for the man who was my brother,” Thor said sadly but simply as if the answer should be obvious. Steve supposed it probably was.

“Oh fuck,” Tony suddenly announced, stopping suddenly. “I just had the best fucking idea. I’ll record it, the musical, oh shit. I’ll record it and give you a copy Thor and teach you how to record as well.” He was grinning so wide he looked like it was probably hurting. “It’s the only thing that would make this so much better.”

“Oh shit,” Clint was suddenly grinning to. “Can you get that to work there?”

“I will _make_ it work there.”

Natasha was starting to smile and Bruce looked resigned, once again Steve found himself adrift, lost in a sea of confusion with only Thor for company.

“I do not understand. Why would you have me do such?” Thor queried.

“Because,” Tony answered, gleefully, “the only thing better than watching this with all of you, is watching on surround sound a recording of Loki getting a heartattack and headache when he watches it too.”

Steve was unable to stop the picture of Loki, imprisoned on Asgard and being forced to watch a human, musical interpretation of his invasion and defeat. He also pictured the moment the man who played him sang his emotional and final solo titled ‘ _You’ll Never Let Me Win_ ’ where he fell to his knees by the end and cried - again.

“Oh God,” Steve murmured, “Tony, he’ll come back down here just to _kill_ you for that.”

Tony was busy wiping a tear from his eye. “So worth it though, _so_ worth it if I get the footage first.” 

He tried, Steve really did, but even with Thor frowning in disapproval at them it couldn’t be stopped. He started laughing. It didn’t take long either and he wasn’t the only one, even Thor in the end was just as lost as the rest of them.

Steve’s whole body was aching and his breaths were coming in gasps like the lost asthma attacks of his youth but he didn’t mind in the slightest. 

Avengers, The Musical. 

Steve hoped he had been right and that you could by CDs from performances. He had a feeling that unlike the battle itself, he’d want to remember and relive this version many, many times in the future.

“ _Because we, we are The Avengers, and we, we, will Avenge you_!” Tony half-sang, half-cackled, which really, just about summed everything up.

**Author's Note:**

> The End!!! And holy shit, I'm going to go to bed now. Sorry if there were any massive errors but I'm getting damn sleepy. Hope you liked!! (Comments and kudos are lovely little things :D)


End file.
